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        The old man has stopped the rattletrap at a crossroads which existed, 
Probably, only in sick imagination of its friend Charles. But, how 
Charles has precisely described it is a place and with what light pleasure he was excused with 
Life also has met Bony, with brains at it all was as it should be. The old man not 
Saw happier person, than Charles laying on the deathbed, though 
Has seen on the century enough — both good, and bad. Bad, of course, 
Was much more, but the best days shone, as stars, on black, as 
Its conscience, a firmament, and instants of hope and love, having printed in memory, 
Towered now, like fantastic islands, over grey ocean of everyday life. At 
The old man there was absolutely small archipelago. Charles, probably, has reached before 
Death of coast of paradise. 
        Probably, therefore the old man also has apprehended seriously its last words. 
Charles was rescued itself and wished to help the friend. Except Charles, at the old man was nobody, 
And with his death he has realised definitive sirotstvo — without everyones 
Illusions and even without hope at least for a short while to be forgotten. He could tell 
How it is difficult to go through at times the one and only night. It has paid in advance 
Own funeral. It has handed over to neighbours a twirl from the apartment — 
From its party it was good will gesture, after all he has taken care of, that 
The floor has not become impregnated with a cadaveric stench if he suddenly dies and provaljaetsja, 
Decaying, too long. He perfectly understood, that is not necessary to anybody as a whole 
The world. Last person with whom the old man divided the rest of the has left 
The ruined life, — has left there where voices are not audible and are not notable 
Touches where there is no air which both of them breathed, and even it is impossible 
Silence from which two hearts silently cry. 
        The old man has stopped, because it had a bad 
Presentiment. He trusted bad presentiments. It was something from area 
Inexplicable, however before, possibly, helped to avoid the worst. Here and 
Now: yet late was to change the mind, refuse the intention and 
To return — but where and what for? That waited for it there, behind, except a cold 
Loneliness, illnesses and melancholy thoughts which rushed about in a brain as if 
Hungry rats in the become empty house? And right at the end — an almshouse, where it 
It will be wetted under itself and to watch shades on the telescreen, a horse-radish not 
Thinking... 
        Whether really he wished to run away from itself(himself), from the hated 
Old age, inevitable weakness, severe disappointment in the God who has arranged 
Lottery which does not stop already tens thousand years, and even it is fair 
Rendering under the won tickets, but in the end selecting all? And if yes, 
What then meant «a bad presentiment»? Real threat of the close 
Death? Ridiculously... The Old man was not afraid of death. Had no value and remained in 
Its order time — all the same he will not be in time and will not manage to make anything 
Worthy mention. More precisely, anything such, that would force it in 
Last minute to smile how Charles smiled. It was the smile of the person, 
Lighted up by light which fell THEREFROM, potustoronnim light of true, — 
Smile of unearthly rest, smile of the one who has got into the heart of eternal secret 
Also has found absolute freedom — including from the flesh which have betrayed it. 
        If the old man did not see it the eyes, it for what not 
Has believed. It has tried all recipes of rescue — and it is vain. When it 
Has lowered hands? After death of the wife? Or after  destruction of the son? 
        Murderers of its boy were live to this day. It was not possible to their wine 
To prove. They went in expensive cars and fucked selling beauties. They 
Had dinner at the best restaurants and lived in magnificent houses. Their children studied in 
The most exclusive schools and most likely did not suspect, whose blood 
Their serene well-being is paid. 
        The old man has squeezed false teeth and was pulled behind a bottle laying 
Nearby on a forward seat. Vodka has had time to heat up, but he drank it, as water, 
Also has made four big drinks, at all not having felt first, what is it alcohol. 
Itself it is guilty — its salty tears dripped in not healing wound... 
        Watch has measured eight minutes before to it has returned 
Determination. Vodka has helped not, another has helped: he has again recollected light, which 
Radiated person Charles, when that explained to it how to reach the CROSSROADS, and 
Then and to... No, that waits in the end of a way, the old man did not wish to think. 
If all appears lie this time it is exact last. The most bitter. 
Simply terrible — in a literal sense. 
        Not leaving the car, he has looked round on the parties. The road was 
Deserted — and that he, actually, expected? That the turn here will be built 
From credulous morons, not able to reconcile to the awful truth 
Existence?. Ahead, metres in hundred fifty, rusted that 
Remains from a filling station; the thrown miner's further away was seen 
Settlement. On the lop-sided guide sign still it was possible to disassemble an inscription 
"Deep". The wooden column from which scraps of wires hanged down, served 
Observant tower for a black raven. Somewhere in the distance under wind blows 
Roofing iron rumbled, and it seemed, the thunder-storm comes nearer. But thunder-storms not 
Was and could not be. Waste heaps. A dead wood. The ruined earth and flat 
The yellow sky... 
        Here really hole, the old man has thought. To die here would be 
Rather symbolically. A natural result of long falling. 
        So, it was ready. But now its rattletrap was capricious. 
The car was old — almost same old, as its owner (if, 
Certainly, to correlate century of the car with human), — and remembered the best times: 
Mad and cheerful night races, deafening roar of fate and mad rhythm 
Fine adjusted cursor. At a back seat were "pleasant" 
Memoirs: elastic maiden popki and sperm streams, — and springs many times 
Tested bljuzovuju rolling of guilty love. Yes, the car was thoroughly, but 
Now, as well as the owner, was hard, is incurably sick. Its giblets have worn out 
To a limit, the body has turned in resheto, the skeleton lost durability. It for a long time 
Has become the potential client of an automobile cemetery or is even worse: it 
Appointment to a hydraulic press — last lover-gay waited, 
Destroying the victims in steel embraces. But the old man counted, that 
The metal jade will die not earlier, than he, and at least not 
Will bring it now as did not bring before. Besides, he has bought the new 
Radio tape recorder also has not missed — all the same that has given doomed the warm 
Stimulator. The old man has noticed, that the wheelbarrow squeezed out on ten kilometres more, 
As soon as it cut old kind guitar narez. And business now was, 
Certainly, in coincidence, instead of in the devil's mysticism — anyway, obstinate 
razvalina it was got after the first steps «Highway to Hell». 
        The old man has moved down from bad road on the cracked earth and has turned 
On the north. Interestingly, the thought on what Charles here reached has flashed. At that 
At all there was no car. Only a sports bicycle. Having imagined the long 
And lean Charles (for some reason it is indispensable with a fluttering grey hair and in 
Raincoat to toe) on a bicycle, the old man has grinned. The question was worthy also 
About the one who has told to Charles about this secret route which for certain has been not designated 
On one map. 
        The dilapidated church on a hill was a following reference point. Meanwhile 
Driving on a washing board of impassability became painful for bony 
Old man bum and dangerous to a suspension bracket. The wheelbarrow creaked and groaned, but 
Eternal pioneer Engus Young has helped it to sustain all it. 
        The church, similar, has been forgotten very long time ago — the old man has twice gone round 
Round a hill, but has not managed to make out the slightest signs of road, which 
Would conduct to top. The strip of a sickly grass covered bottom a brown border, 
And above the hill was naked and dark, as a breast of the negress. The church stuck out, as if 
The nipple tormented with gums of the baby and in addition pierced bent almost under 
Right angle a cross. 
        According to Charles, further to the old man followed move to that party, 
Where specified a cross trunk. But to define this direction, not having climbed up 
On hill top, it has appeared it is impossible — the distance is too great, and 
Accuracy on an azimuth left much to be desired. 
        The old man has judged, that is more useless to finish a wheelbarrow which it was obvious not under 
Force to overcome a steep slope — even under sounds of heavenly rock'n roll in Judgement 
Day. It will go on foot. To Him it can cost a heavy short wind, rezi in 
Breast and pains in joints, but it will bear. And if it dies on a way from 
Heart attack, means, so to that and to be. Eventually, a place to it 
It was pleasant. The flesh will get to the ravens, and more one handful of ashes will be added to 
Dark embankment of a hill. The shade of a cross of times in day will fall on its skeleton, 
Counting slow time of the dead... And after all there is still a moon. 
        He suddenly has clearly imagined to itself(himself): washed by ice light of the night 
Stars, its bones lay, turning gradually in an eternity dust, and around 
Churches the phantom relieved of terrestrial shudders wanders. Than not the enviable 
Fate?. 
        The old man has tastefully spitted out. He despised own sentimentality. 
It would be time to get rid of romantic nonsense already. And the black romanticism anything 
Not better pink or, for example, the blue. He has got used for a long time to thought, that in 
The end there will be nothing, except ashes from a crematorium — ashes completely 
The disappeared generation. Any generation — lost. He knew it precisely. 
        That it was easier to clamber on a hill, it has switched on a radio tape recorder, and Toni 
Joe Uajt has started singing about hot July. The old man has got out of the car, having left a door 
The opened. Has looked upwards — and has seen the Golgotha. Has called itself a driveller: 
Instead of a cross it should drag only a pain and despair. 
        It has overcome first hundred metres without special problems, then the slope became 
More abruptly, and the old man has felt, that in its heart is slowly screwed in 
Screw. 
        After some more tens steps it had a shower bath cold then. At 
It feet shivered. It seemed, knees are wound by a barbed wire, and at 
Each breath someone shot to it under the left shovel from the pneumatic 
Hammer. «And what was the believer, their lines poderi?! To decrepit old women, 
To cripples, asthmatics?. » 
        Approximately on the middle of lifting it has stopped to take rest. 
By then instead of music he heard only a blood roar in bashke. It 
Stirred up and swayed. Before eyes ink streams, and a sunlight flew 
Seemed the unbodied tool of torture: beams that pierced a skull sparkling 
Spears whipped on pupils as lashes. 
        The old man has thought, that in vain drank vodka. Now it would give all for 
To steam of drinks of cold water, but the flask with water remained in the car. It has called 
Itself old mudakom also has moved further, hardly pulling out a foot from 
Nonexistent silt and damning a pain which tormented him from within. But it 
Went, convinced, that Charles's agonal smile cost these tortures. «Not 
You thought, the blockhead to receive all on a freebie? »If Charles has sustained 
Ridiculous test (and Charles was not more healthy than it), also it should 
To consult, overcome shameful weakness, to reach the purpose... 
        And the church seeming far and inaccessible, has suddenly grown 
Before it. It became close clear, what is it ruina. In the arches holes gaped, sifting 
Sun beams. Only one stones, moreover a shod cross have escaped. It was necessary to the old man 
To curtail for a corner, to define, where specifies the lop-sided symbol 
The reeled belief. 
        Behind its corner the surprise — greetings from a next world expected. On the east 
To wall — once white, and now reminding cracked grey 
Asphalt — he has seen an inscription which should be noticed: «Here 
There was Charles ». 
        The old man has stopped, examining the huge clumsy letters, everyone 
In size with human growth. This time he has not smiled. It hardly could 
To imagine the friend painting zhlobskuju an inscription on a wall of church — 
Let even the thrown. The assumption, that seemed to stranger 
Charles specially dragged with itself to bank of a brown paint... But to what to dissemble? 
Hardly it was the paint. 
        The old man could swear, that the inscription is made by blood. And blood 
It was required so many that he nearly has not started to look around in search of the pork hulk. 
Blood was on a wall — and more anywhere. It was not pleasant to it, because 
Badly smelt slightly — in any sense. First of all, smelt slightly of twilight 
Consciousnesses — and he always liked clear morning and a sunlight. 
        The old man what for pokovyrjal a nail the dried up blood as if wanted 
To be convinced, that all it not someone's foolish, almost harmless and 
Rather recent joke. From above has reached whether a rusty scratch, whether shout 
Bird of prey. The old man has lifted up a head and has stared in the sky. It still was 
Empty, as its heart. However, in heart the fear already arose. 
        It seemed to it, that the cross has turned, but he has not been assured of it. 
What line? Charles too liked to joke... The Old man has felt sour smack 
Bile in a mouth. If the cross dangled, as a crappy weather vane, it doomed him on 
Senseless wanderings. 
        He has tried to fix a direction at least. A cross 
Specified somewhere in the northeast. In that party at the horizon the old man 
Has seen a dark strip of the river, and over it — a greenish sponge. Probably, wood. 
«Here where you will have a rest, — the is ruthless-sarcastic internal has told to it 
Voice. — behind the river, in a shade of trees ». 
        Having looked narrowly, he has noticed in a sponge rupture — there the sky and the earth, 
Incorporating, formed something like a biconcave lens. The old man has risen 
Precisely under a cross also it was convinced, what exactly is conducted there by its hidden road. 
Charles's way... For absolute confidence followed climb on a roof, but 
On such feat connected with risk for a life, it was not capable («And on 
What you in general are capable, an old monkey? »). 
        At last — at least it meant, that it is not going to 
To come back to hill top if the cross-weather vane leads it up a blind alley, — 
At last the old man has glanced in church through a failure in the western wall. In most 
To the premise middle the black column on which the black has been strengthened stuck out 
Telephone set. At the column basis the coffin which has been hammered together from rough was based 
The pared down boards. Supplemented a still-life the goat horns adhered to a column, 
And a small group of the dried up dung on a floor. 
        At the old man the thought has flashed: the profaner — the same who has made 
Inscription on a wall, or here has visited two? At the sight of the surrealistic 
Ominous altar at once it wanted to it to appear somewhere far away from here. 
But for some long seconds it has stuck to a place. And, as it was found out, not 
In vain. 
        He at all was not surprised, when phone has rung out. Something similar should 
Was to occur to relentless predefiniteness. 
        Claps of wings vspugnutoj birds were distributed. The old man has looked upwards — 
The winged silhouette was turned off and developed, as the prostitute, 
Ploughing up and ploughing before the client the raincoat. Also left, 
Being dissolved in light of the sun. 
        Phone called. At the old man has dried up in a drink. He did not believe in the god, 
In line. He did not believe in coincidence. He knew one: sooner or later 
It is necessary to regret bitterly and that has made, and for what has not made. 
Therefore it has stepped through dung and has removed a telephone tube. 
        Juicy cheerful voice which could belong to Chris Farlou and in 
Same time has seemed to the old man a voice someone from acquaintances to it (but now 
Already dead) people, has told: 
        — Greetings, the old man. What horse-radish you drag out? We you were tired of waiting. 
Sharp's the word! 
        Short hooters were distributed. The old man did not like all. But it is more 
In total it did not like it "we" which meant, that its chances 
Are insignificant. It still could stand barely for itself(himself) in fight one on 
One with not so young contender, and here, similar, with it has started game in 
prjatki the whole company young and impudent. 
        Once he was young both impudent. To it and its coevals spoke: 
«Die the young! Heroes» are necessary to the native land. Also sent them on war. On war 
They quickly lost a youth and impudence. Many remained to decay in another's earth; 
It has got off several plentiful krovopuskanijami. From army it has returned, 
rasstrativ the rests of illusions. What has it got in exchange? A rattle on a breast, 
Aching conscience of the murderer, wound which were ill at night, dreadful dreams about 
boombardirovkah, boring job, football reportings on Sundays. 
Full shops of liquid and sound comforters. And then it undertook 
Non-conformists. The Rock music one fact of the existence drummed 
To it in bashku: «Die young, after all the world for which you battled and hardly was 
By nonsense has not died, — simply huge heap of dung ». He has gone through also it, 
Though someone from its acquaintances has fallen for the bait — drugs, vagrancy, 
Robberies, bad girls, very bad girls, broken motorcycles, 
The split skulls... And, at last, he spoke to itself(himself): «the Old age — nasty 
Piece. There is nothing worse — unless a youth. Therefore die the young. Do not wait, 
While you will start to stink ». 
        The internal voice was most convincing. It has become is impenetrable 
Convincing after the old man (then yet the old man) remained one on 
Light. But for this reason he continued to live. To spite of itself. It was 
Even not asinine obstinacy, after all donkeys are not inclined to a suicide, is was 
Swan song of the padded bulldozer. 
        ... Swearing, it has got out outside and has started to go down on a hill slope. 
Easier than to creep upwards, but too not the gift. When it has reached the car, 
The cartridge has already ended, and became audible, as the evil spirits which have risen from mines, 
Feasts in dead settlement. 
        Day was on an outcome — warm day of the middle of autumn. Nevertheless 
To the old man has become chilly. It was again pulled behind a bottle, but has changed the mind and 
Has taken a mouthful of coffee from a thermos. Has praised itself for foresight. Devilishly 
The provident son of a bitch. Perhaps, its trouble also consisted in it. It 
Never presumed the life easier leak. It was captious 
The quartermaster in a warehouse of the fictitious well-being, hourly subjecting 
To the inventory stocks of confidence of tomorrow. And day today's vanished, 
Thawed, imperceptibly disappeared, followed, as water through fingers... 
        However, to the old man for a long time has bothered to find new occasions to contempt 
To itself. It is that, what is, — and be gone you propadom it is not pleasant to whom! 
It has made all that was in its forces not to die young, and now it 
Wished to receive the life from a left-luggage office, but could not find a key. To 
That day when he has seen a smile on the person of the dying friend, it not 
Believed, that the key in general exists. 
        It has reanimated the rattletrap the next injection of a stimulator, having switched on 
For it (and for itself) Dzhefa Hils which has played «the Point nevozvrashchenija», and 
Has gone towards the river, reserving a loop of a curling dust. 
        It was the special dust. Settling, it was flown down in grey dry streamlets and 
Fell asleep prints of protectors. It destroyed even smells. And in an hour 
Any police dog if such suddenly was, would not find out traces 
The driven car. 

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